One early afternoon Daddy was returning from a Congressional hearing. We were chatting generally, including on what transpired in his morning. I can’t remember the specifics. But I do remember him saying – “Unfortunately, people have short memories”. A few weeks later he passed away.
Through Rory’s book project, we have had a chance to remember and also, rediscover our parents. And as I think about them, I marvel at my parents’ influence in our lives and through us, our families. The impact has also been on the lives of others close to both of them.
What I most remember:
My father’s strong sense of public service. Taking a position of responsibility in government was a sacred trust. My father joined the service as the Philippines was establishing its own systems of governance after many years of struggle – 300 years under the Spaniards, 48 years under the Americans. This was the time to prove and show Filipino capacity. The values of integrity and honesty were embedded in this public service ethic. While government service had its perks (the privilege of drivers, cars, the use of government housing in the regions (Baguio, Camarines, Iligan), there were strict quarantine-level limits to gifts and benefits offered by private businesses.
As government was bent on privatizing, my father did not join the private sector, notwithstanding the obvious benefits. He instead chose to join international civil service, where his personal expertise and experience would contribute to the industrialization efforts of many other countries – India, Iran among those I remember.
Appreciation of modern values, inc. education as the path to personal progress. My parents didn’t come from backgrounds of privilege – they were not of the land-owning class, the hacenderos and politicos of old. But their families were distinguished. My paternal grandfather was a “kapitan del barrio”, he was an “escritor”, a literate man with beautiful penmanship. His wife was a “maestra”, a teacher. My maternal grandmother was a math professor whose own family members followed a military tradition. Their families were core to the intelligentsia – a separate, relative small group of individuals who established their worth and contribution to their own education and training. My father’s “ascent” was especially meaningful as he rose through publicly-provided education (available only during the American period) and hard work. He also had the benefit of well-meaning mentors who shepherded him through school and opened opportunties for advancement through education.
Compassion and generosity. Social and occupational mobility would open only for a limited few. But for those did make it, they became the portals for others. In the provinces, basic education meant only elementary school. Going further meant going to a nearby city center but the best schools were in Manila. As both my parents encouraged education for all their nephews and nieces, they opened up our Manila home as the free dormitory for all. I recall our P. Florentino home as the hub for all Abreras and Sityars, the site of many family reunions and gatherings. My cousins’ memories were shaped by our home, especially those growing in the fifties’ and the sixties.
The home was also the place for animals of various forms and shapes. My father enjoyed big and small dogs. From high breeds to mongrels. At different times, we had a goat, deer, pigeons, chickens and once-upon-a time, a pig.
Graciousness and Refinement. Both my parents showed much grace and elegance. My mother in particular knew the importance of regularly sitting down for meals, of having a well-dressed table, of the young ones playing an instrument, of their reciting poems. They had a certain snobbery too against of those who showed their wealth ostentatiously, their nod to understatement.
Also, last but not the least, it was important to maintain a stiff upper lip especially in the face of adversity. Our lives, as with all, were marked by highs and lows. But my parents shielded us from many of the disruptions, we simply never talked abut them openly.
My Father's Gifts 
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